nebroska:

nebroska:

does anyone remember the movie where the teenage boy was actually a mermaid or did i hallucinate it

image

I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS OH MY GOD

maca-licious:

hot-potato-cold-bazooka:

hot-potato-cold-bazooka:

So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.

image

you should’ve been prepared.

sexadvicegoddess:

sarcasticlittlefuckk:

standard

I am crying I love this too much

you’re about as irrelevant as Mean Girls 2

autumnraining:

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE AN ACTUAL LINE FROM A FALL OUT BOY SONG:

“Anything you say can and will be held against you so only say my name”

IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S SMOOTH AS FUCK YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY FACE CAUSE THAT’S A SWEET-ASS PICKUP LINE

poopflow:

nosdrinker:

does this mean that perez hilton could go to jail

*prayer circle*

suckmybalz:

fuckin jesus. im not gonna be alive by the end of september

suckmybalz:

fuckin jesus. im not gonna be alive by the end of september

datpastaasylum:

dinoduckqueen:

hawkules:

imagine a video game where you create a hero whose destiny is to save everyone, but throughout the game you start making harder and more questionable decisions, and the game gets darker and darker. and in the end you’re just standing there, clutching the controller and finally realizing you were playing the villain all along

fuck

FUCK

FUCK

I WANT

werey0uh0nestwithy0urself:

aminaabramovic:

I don’t get these posts that go like “part of me wants to be a hot girl at the bar and the other part of me wants to read and sip tea in a bookstore”

like you can wear red lipstick and a leather jacket and sip tea and dance in the rain and go to the gym and curl up in bed and get turnt the fuck up and go to church

you can literally have it all sis

the world is yours

This is the most inspiring thing I have ever read

A message from Anonymous
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
A reply from almanzapedia

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.